TMI Pt. 1

Heres the story, of a chick named Kitty, who knew some very strange girls. All of them HAD herpes, like their uncles, the youngest one on her ass. (The Brady Bunch Song sucks meatballs.)

Enough being random. So I get a message from someone the other day and in so many words screams out they got an appendage. Yes, I know, this is ground breaking news. But I dont normally give or get these types of messages though Im sure there are plenty of people who want to know all of the happenings of my twat. (If you are one of those people,feel free to subscribe to MyTwatInYoFace.com....I made that up but if there really is a site of such nature, I claim no affiliation and thats not me on the far left, I swear!)

Anyone that knows me, or thinks they know me, could safely say that if I get a stupid message, Im really not scared to say, hey assclown thats all sorts of stupid, only before FTNing said stupid comment. People who dont know me assume I will listen or be annoyed but not say anything. Hence why you will never know me.

Because I want you to understand, I am willing to share the prettiest viewpoints of this conversation. For the well being and sanity of those involved, original names are not included (be grateful.) This post will be done in two parts as these convos could possibly drive you nuts in one sitting. FYI, this person gave me full permission to use their name and or convo material in FTN posts. I leave out name because Im sure he'll regret that choice. The only alterations made to this convo was the changing of names to me me & him or *** for his name. You dont like it...kiss my ass.

Convo 1

-- Instant message logging enabled --
[17:46] Him: omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgogomg <-My fave way for you to say hello to me.
[17:46] Him: did you ever post my ftn notice? <-I told him I would post one on the stupid comment he made asking me "what or who I was doing"
[17:47] Him: XD
[17:47] Him: and i just did somerhing very bad
[17:47] Him: i bought myself somethnig......"special"
[17:47] Me: ok <- My interest level
[17:47] Him: and im about to.........use it 0_0
[17:48] Him: im sooo nervous!
[17:48] Him: omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgmo <- This apparently means really nervous
[17:48] Me: ok <- My concern
[17:48] Him: is it fun? have you done it before, whats it like? what should i look out for? should i be careful? <- Am I the god damn health clinic?
[17:49] Me: what the fuck are you talking about?
[17:49] Him: idk, im soo nervous and excited....sorry to bug you about it <- Sorry # 1
[17:49] Him: take the 3 word from that sentence.........
[17:50] Him: from what you said, i mean
[17:50] Me: ***, Im really not in the mood for a fucking guessing game with you so either you spill it or im someone else with you panic attack sessions
[17:51] Him: it involves a man and a woman doing things with each other.......intamate things.....I JUST BOUGHT MYSELF A MEMBER!! <- Because Im four...when a someone really loves someone...
[17:51] Me: Why do I need to know this ***?
[17:52] Me: Do I im you and tell you about my twat or when Im fucking?
[17:52] Him: no, im sorry. ill leave you alone, you dont need to know..... <-Sorry # 2
[17:52] Me: Oh no you dont, dont run now <- Starting shit and running doesnt fly with me
[17:52] Me: Because you have involved me
[17:52] Me: and now I wanna all about that furry cock of yours
[17:52] Him: im not running
[17:52] Me: so spill it
[17:52] Him: its not furry
[17:53] Him: i am a human
[17:53] Him: and will remain as one <-He's furry half the time
[17:53] Me: because I sooooo need to know about your cock and balls right? Because we're such good friends <- Falling into the Ive known you less than a month category
[17:53] Me: Has your chick seen it
[17:53] Me: Ya gonna fuck her?
[17:53] Me: When?
[17:53] Him: wait...your being sarcastic arent you? <- Genius!
[17:53] Me: Where?
[17:53] Me: No Im curious
[17:53] Him: oh
[17:54] Him: where idk yet, soon, and no she hasnt
[17:54] Me: Im curious as to why you think I WOULD GIVE A FLYING FUCK if you have a dick or if youd use it. Does it look like you are on my god damn radar that I need a random IM from you explaining to me what you have? Do you really think I dont have better shit to worry about than your fucking twig and berries?
[17:54] Him: ....ok sorry shasta <- Sorry # 3
[17:54] Me: No you arent <- Dont say sorry if you dont mean it!
[17:55] Him: no i really am, i tend to put my foot in my mouth a lot <- This is called back peddling
[17:55] Me: Because youll just im someone else about your dick, so you can twist and shout about it. Its a dick. Its not a big deal
[17:55] Me: Why dont you talk to your girl about ur dick?
[17:55] Me: Im not your chick
[17:56] Me: Therefore the only dick I care about is MY mans
[17:56] Him: youknow what your absoltuly right....i am a complete idiot about all this....and i shouldnt have even bothered you ith it
[17:57] Me: Well, I know ur full of shit and youll just do it again but for right now you just enjoy your new dick, I hope you bust nuts galore and if you have a hugeeee party to celebrate its birth, feel free to toss my invite. Thanks kbye.
[17:58] Me: Nooooo <-So the little message comes up that says "so and so is typing"
[17:58] Me: stop talking
[17:59] Me: i said goodbye
[17:59] Him: ok

[22:16] Him: (and not some gay little avi like i got already) <-This is a comment in open by the same person, hours later at a club. Do you remember when I said I dont like people who refer to bad things as "gay," feel free to insert your own race or your mommas religious belief instead. You are an asshole and so I hate your face.

Here is the number one problem I have with this conversation. It was not meant or delivered as a funny open discussion but a verbal vomit of TMI, it was with someone who I am not close with by any means and it is quite frankly the most teen grid conversation I have ever seen in an adult setting. Are you fucking 12? Why would I care? Was I suppose to jump for joy or go...OMG CONGRATS! You didnt cure cancer. You bought a cock. Yayyyyy

FTN TO YOUR TMI!