Weekly

Even simple acts of noise can get under my skin, like a flesh crawling disease you'd get after fucking one of "those" girls. I say FTN! and Kill Em All!

• Cats who meow at 5:22 in the motherfucking morning! I WILL NOT FEED YOU! WAIT THE FUCK UP!
• Dogs who want to be let out to pee at 3:15 in the morning! WHO STARTED THIS SCHEDULE! THESE ANIMALS ARE HITLER INCARNATE!
• Guys who say shit like "you remember 7 years ago when I wanted to hook up, I woulda tore it up." NEWSFLASH: THAT WAS 7 YEARS AGO. IF YOU'RE STILL THINKING ABOUT IT AND IM NOT...WHO WOULD HAVE TORE WHO UP? IM GLAD IVE BEEN APART OF YOUR WET DREAMS FOR SEVEN FUCKING YEARS, NOW SHUT UP AND GO GET ME A SODA.
• People who drive 65 when the speed limit is 65. HERES A HINT: ITS ALWAYS AT LEAST 4 ABOVE SPEED LIMIT, I.E 35 = 39, 55 = 59, 65 = 69, 75 = 79...MAYBE 83 IF I REALLY WANNA GET THERE.
• Anyone who charges 1K for 300 prims in a 3 story house. THATS LIKE GIVING ME A MANSION AND SAYING, "YOU CAN HAVE A COUCH."
• Parents who let their kids sell candy/popcorn/chocolates/Christmas wrapping paper door to door with no supervision. FIRST OFF, CHRISTMAS WRAPPING PAPER IN AUGUST...REALLY? I WASNT BORN YESTERDAY! SECOND, WTF ARE YOUR PARENTS. IM SORRY THEY ARE HITTING THE CRACK PIPE BUT YOU SHOULDNT BE OUT RIGHT NOW, OR ON MY PORCH OR STANDING IN MY DOORWAY! THERE ARE SICK PEOPLE OUT THERE, ILL JUST WATCH THE NEWS AND WAIT TO SEE ABOUT LITTLE BOB OR LITTLE JANE WHO GOT KIDNAPPED AND THE SOBBING PARENT WHO CLAIMS, "I DONT KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED, WE LIVE IN SUCH A GOOD NEIGHBORHOOD." HINT...PSYCHOS LIVE IN RICH NEIGHBORHOODS TOO!
• Anyone who is still or ever was obsessed with Friends or Seinfeld. YOURE A FUCKING TARD!
• Anyone who uses the excuse, "Nigga is apart of my language. And its not the same as Nigger." ARE WE STILL COVERING THIS SHIT? WAKE UP, ITS AN UNEDUCATED USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, JUST LIKE YOU ARE A SORRY EXCUSE FOR A FORM OF LIFE. RULE OF THUMB: IF YOU WOULDNT LET A 4 YEAR OLD CHILD USE THE WORD, WHY WOULD YOU? BE AN EXAMPLE OF PROGRESSION, NOT STUPIDITY.
• Guys who hit on you at 7am at the gas station. IM HERE TO GET COFFEE BITCH, MOVE. ILL ONLY SMILE IF YOU LET ME HAVE THE LAST DONUT.
• Cats who have progressed from meowing to get food to sitting at your feet, staring at you with dagger eyes in order to get food. YOU ARE FAT, YOU CAN WAIT AN HOUR!
• People who let their children run around a restaurant, babies cry nonestop and/or babies shit without immediately excusing themselves to change the little rats. THIS IS WHY SOMEONE LIKE YOU SHOULD HAVE SWALLOWED OR LET HIM SPLOOGE IN YOUR ASS. YOU CANT EVEN KEEP A HOLD OF YOUR KID OR CHANGE ITS CRUSTY DIAPER. I ORDERED A KC-STRIP AND GREENS, NOT A KC-STRIP, GREENS AND THE ODOR OF A DYING POSSUM!
• People who touch pregnant bellies without permission. THIS IS A VIOLATION OF PERSONAL SPACE. YOU HAVE NOW OPENED THE GATE AND I CAN RUB YOUR BELLY WHENEVER I CHOOSE. OH WAIT, YOU'RE JUST A FAT ASS, KINDA BOTHERSOME ISNT IT?
• People who fart in a supermarket aisle then jet to the next aisle to avoid their own stink. I WISH I COULD FOLLOW YOU AND GIVE IT BACK! YOU ARE A NASTY ASS. DID YOU HAVE TO PICK THE PRODUCE AISLE, REALLY? DONT BE SURPRISED, ITS USUALLY THE PRETTY RICH LOOKING LADY WHO HAS THE TOXIC FUMING ASSHOLE! BEWARE!
• People who make up stories about other people in order to justify their own asshat behavior. ID LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO KARMA. SHE IS A BITCH. ENJOY.
• Using text messages to say important things like "So and so stopped breathing, on life support, etc etc," YES, ITS 2009. WE STILL COMMUNICATE FOR IMPORTANT SITUATIONS LIKE, OH I DONT KNOW, PEOPLE ALMOST DYING!
• When you're hungry at 5:51am and what you want isnt in the fridge because someone who just came home last night decided that was the one motherfucking thing he wanted to eat. YOU ARE SO LUCKY MURDER IS ILLEGAL!
• Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta. I HATE YOU! YOUR WIG IS CHEAP, YOUR A POOR EXAMPLE OF A WOMAN, A HOE AND A REALLY BAD LIAR. I HOPE YOU GET BITCH SLAPPED THIS SEASON!
• Hospitals that try to force a treatment for no other reason than they want to hike up the bill. HERES THE DEAL, IF I SAY MY BLADDER IS FULL, DONT COME UP IN HERE WITH A CATHETER. GET YOUR LITTLE BLADDER SCANNER THINGY AND CHECK...OH WAIT, I WAS RIGHT, AND WHO HAS THE DEGREE, YOU FUCKING SAGGY TWAT!
• Nurses who get pissed when you ask questions. IF YOU ARE TAKING MY BLOOD, INJECTING ME WITH SOMETHING, PUTTING ME INTO SOME MACHINE, I WANT TO KNOW WHY, WHAT IS IT, WHAT ARE SIDE EFFECTS, WHATS THE TESTING USED FOR AND ITS LEVEL OF IMPORTANCE. I AM NOT ABOUT TO BE THE REASON YOU GET A NEW BENZ THIS YEAR!
• Anyone still obsessed with Michael Jackson and his family. HE'S DEAD, MOVING THE FUCK ON. SADLY, MORE PEOPLE WILL REMEMBER HIS SICK AND TWISTED SKELETOR IMAGE THAN THE PERSON WHO CURES CANCER, AIDS AND STUPIDITY. AND WE WONDER WHY THE WORLD IS GOING TO SHIT.
• Cats who are now meowing at 6:04am because I fed them but they seem to want water. FUCKING NEEDY BASTARDS! HAVENT YOU GROWN THUMBS YET?

Feel free to add to the list, it was a slow morning. Overall; THINGS THAT HAVE ANNOYED ME THIS WEEK...FTN!