Click Click Boom!

Cliques are funny. It's like channel surfing except they are real people frolicking around in their own little world right there in front of you. Think back to high school a second, or a minute or two for you grandmas, and try to remember that one clique that really got to you.

For some, it was the Jocks, those dimwitted active sacks of yummy meat. Maybe it was the Goths, so misunderstood and non comformists who all dressed alike and hated the world together for the same non-existant reasons. Maybe it was the Nerds, those poor defenseless pipsqueaks who werent getting any play but damn if their virginal asses werent going to Harvard. My personal favorite to observe was the Self Proclaimed Bad Girls Club. Mind you, I didnt like them or hate them. They were more like the car accident on the highway that you just couldnt stop watching though it was a hideous sight to see; beneficial to my twisted sense of amusement and yet they pulled at my heart strings of pity.

The Kitty Bish do have some love for The Bad Girls Club and heres why...Who isnt amused by the self proclamations. You had the offical Hard Ass, the Slut, the High Class Snob, the Manipulator, the Snitch, the Glamour God, the list goes on and on of what these bitches called themselves. Whether they walked around with a tag or just plain old flaunted their mental deficiency, I was titilated. I like that word cuz it has tit in it. DONT JUDGE ME!

Better still are the girls who grow up holding on to their tags. Its like a haggard Miss America still talking about that shit and practicing the wave 50 years later. Even better than that are the ones who gave themselves tags later on in life because they were nobodies way back when. Talk about making up for lost time. These girls grew into desperate women for whatever reasons, insert pathetic sob story of tragedy/loss/abuse here, and somehow are convinced they can use that to skate by.

NEWSFLASH: These "Bad Girls" wouldnt last a fucking day, a second, not even a nano-second in actual reality. Time to take off the rose colored glasses ladies and wake the fuck up. The Kitty Bish has watched far too many people over the years play their sad little games and in turn, do anything they can to stay at the top...but at the top of what? Behind EVERY supposed bad girl is someone who has planted a seed, who has pulled the puppet strings and made these grotesque hoes do the jig. Because I have so much love for these lost little women, I feel the need to be the giver of gifts. I'm your FTN! Santa Claus bitches. Do not sit on my lap as your crab infestation may somehow get onto my leg. Im not all about the itchy seafood so you just keep your nasty taco at bay and I'll happily launch my gifts at your face.

For the slut: A can of Lysol. Use as directed. DIRECTIONS: Stick into your nasty loose floppy sloppy stinky crusty moldy vaggy hole and clamp down. This should activate the fumegation process and in no time you will either die of poisoning or at least have a pine smelling cream hole.

For the hard ass: Laxatives. While you are stuck on the shitter dwelling on your daddy issues, take some time to realize that there is always someone tougher, stronger, smarter and just overall better than you. Face reality and once your raw asshole is done vomiting, feel free to get off your high horse and wake the fuck up. YOU ARE NOT UNTOUCHABLE. Kitty Bish loves this line and knows it to be true for a fact...the bigger the skeazer, the harder that hoe falls!

For the high class snob: A trash can. Throw all of your materialistic shit in this trash can...stfu its a really big one okay! Once all of your shit is in this trash can, you are free to set the trashcan on fire, pick up said blazing trash can and flip over to rest over your snooty little head. Feel free to turn your nose down now so you can get the full effect. Once your shit is taken away, you're just a nobody with nothing. Should've spent more time on a personality huh? HER FACE, HER FACE, HER FACE IS ON FIRE, WE DONT NEED NO WATER, LET THE COCKSUCKER BURN!

The manipulator: A pair of scissors. These are to cut the strings. As much as you are convinced you are running the show, you arent. You are doing the dance just as your puppet master wants you to. You're just too fucking stupid to see it. Feel free to stab out your eyeballs after cutting the strings. There is no reason for this other than it will make me laugh. Thank you kindly.

The Snitch: A self help book. This person is also known as an ass kisser, title chaser, attention whore. Though I doubt you can read, here at FTN! we are hoping that you will at least get to the chapter where you have some breakthrough and realize that you are only doing what you do because you feel all sad about yourself because someone called you fat or stupid or ugly or some shit as a child. Get the fuck over it and be an adult. I like this type the least because they are the most pathetic. Oh the poor victim. Look up martyr.

The Glamour God: Soap and Water. Besides the fact that you fucking wreak of bacterial sludge, clean off your face and stare in a mirror. Mask it all you want but no Revlon, no new skin or hairstyle, no new clothes or fly kicks are going to take away from the fact that you are an ugly fucking human being. Feel free to shove said bar of soap in your nether regions. In 2020, it may finally be sanitized.

Now, here at FTN! we are all about redemption. There is nothing to say that these sad little people cant change. Maybe but it is ever doubtful. They usually turn into really nasty looking ladies you avoid at the grocery store who talk to themselves and reminisce about that one time they meant something somewhere, to someone. Feel free to go to your nearest Grocer and pick up the items mentioned, hand them out immedietly. Hell make a little gift basket. Though I love you for the laughs...SELF PROCLAIMED BAD GIRLS WHO ARE JUST SAD LITTLE SHEEP...F.T.N!

~Special thanks to AMABOO for the idea for this post, mad love and shit

~The Kitty Bish

Anal Leakage says WHA?

So theres a guy and he kills babies for a living, late term baby killing. This is sad. This is wrong. This makes me want to maim stupid peoples faces with monkey wrenches.

There is a good religious little man. He hates late term baby killers. He thinks "well by golly gee fucking willigers, Ill go kill the baby killer in the name of my lord because Im all sorts of hip and shit."

Demented religious man kills baby killer man in...church.

Okay I hate 4 people in this situation. And heres why. (If you think you'll be offended by me talking abortion and religion, LEAVE NOW! Thats the only warning Im giving, if you dont know me by now, you surely will want to run. kbye.)

1. I hate baby killer man. Now, this is not the talking belly whore whos dancing on the stripper pole type of baby killing. This is real life, baby is six months old so Imma put a pair of scissors in its skull and kill this baby type of baby. This is a touchy area as people blast in morals and ethics and religion, because religion solves all woes and starts all wars, but thats neither here nor there. BUT YOU KILL BABIES! LIKE FOR REALS! YOU KILL BABIES! Whether you believe the late term thing officially makes it wrong, or its wrong to you all the way around or you are very much into baby killing and punting with itty bitty midgets, I mean hell, I dont know you...the guy kills babies...he is offically not cool in my book of coolness.
2. I hate the lady who waited 6 months to kill her baby. WTF WERE YOU DOING FOR 6 GOD DAMN MONTHS. I dont touch on whether she should or not to begin with because I dont know these chicks, I mean she could have been raped or has a terminal disease, who fucking knows. What I do know is your ass waited 6 MOTHERFUCKING MONTHS to make the choice. Because Oprah had your attention in month 3 and that pint of Ben and Jerry's took up month 5...I mean really people! Were you in the fucking bathroom? Did you wake up after hybernating and go "HOLY FUCKNUGGETS BATMAN, THIS IS NOT A FULL TUMMY FROM MCDONALDS, THIS IS A FUCKING BABY!!!!" -.- You are officially not in my book of coolness.
3. I hate the guy who killed the baby killer. Okay Mr. Religion. Because if my memory serves me correctly for the like 2 days I payed attention in confirmation class it was this...the old testament was out! Lutherans dont follow that no more hombre. No eye for an eye. You need to keep reading. Cuz for reals, you cant like half ass read that book, I mean I know in Exodus its all like "and someone begot someone and then they begot somebody else and they begot more fucking people," but seriously...like...wait was it Exodus. Maybe it was Ruth...god damn thats an ugly name. Side note, if you decide to not kill your baby in month 7, dont name the kid Ruth. Thats just fucked up. This guy and anyone who names their kid Ruth is not in my book of coolness.
4. I hate religious people who are sooooo stoked that baby killer man got killed by religious man. I am speaking from personal fucking experience here. There is nothing scarier then seeing a self proclaimed religious gangsta talk about how fucking awesome it was to hear that the baby killer got a cap busted in his baby killing ass. IM NOT JOKING HERE PEOPLE! This comes from a 40 year old religious woman, of the same demonination as the baby killers killer. "And what better place to recieve judgment then in the house of god." Um seriously...okay so tell the bums now, CHURCH IS NOT SAFE! You will get shot there! Clean up the pews and pay your fucking tithing thingies cuz they will shoot you. In the face. These people are really not in my cool book, for reals!

My personal opinions on abortion and religion are so not relevant in this situation. The story I see here is simple, baby killer mutilates babies who had a fucking chance. Religious man thinks he got skills and permission to alleviate the world of Baby Killer Scissorhands. Religious people, some not all, back this psycho up. No one is right in this situation. And if I was actually one of any faith, I would say little Baby Jesus in a tutu-Allah-Vishnu Caravan-Buddha-Princess Di would so be really pissed the fuck off right now. Stop doing stupid shit in the name of your God. If they wanted it done...THEIR FUCKING GOD, THEY WOULD HAVE DONE IT YOU DRIPPY ANAL SACK! ffs!

Weird people who take up the cover of the newspaper and make it hard for me to find the movie listing sections...F.T.N!

P.S. And if your gonna kill baby killer man, dont shoot him, stab him in the head with a pair of scissors...now thats Karma and makes for a way better Lifetime T.V movie...kbye!

Hey Fucknugget...COME ON DOWNNNNN!

The world never ceases to amaze me. Nor do the people in it. I refer to both lives as it is an ever present coincidence that asshats flock into all plains of my sight. With unwavering manipulation, the drones and sheep of the world follow through on their masters daily plans. Moving like cattle, they do as they are told, think what they assume should be thought and react only under prying eyes in a way that will deliver them a smile from judgement.
In just a short matter of time, I have observed and experienced, firsthand, the self-mutilation called comformity. If thats not a word, I just made it up so shut the fuck up and keep readng. Or not, I could really care less at this point. Is the kitty Bish angry, sure, why the fuck wouldnt she be? Is the faint remnants of the chick beyond just a little pissed off, even more so. Because there is no form of escape from the tyrants of the world. The ever present untouchables.
In either life, the sight of little minions scurrying about doing the biddings of their owners is a shameful thing to see. It is even more shameful to hear no voice stand up against such blatant stupidity and control.
Let me be the first to say, the things I find important may mean absolutely nothing to you. And vice versa. You may want a talking belly and the white picket fence in one life and the party girl demeanor in the next. You may want the party girl demeanor because you have the stay at home stuck in a rut syndrome. Fuck if I know, fuck if I care.
My heartfelt annoyance of the day, week, month and year is people who assume that their priority should be yours. For a hypocrite, it is easy to tell a stranger or even a friend, a coworker, a soldier in battle...to get the fuck over something. When in all actuality, lifes traumas...trials and tribulations effect us all. Remind me to cry for you over the stupidest fucking thing when the world is facing much bigger issues then you and your demented ideas of relevance.
We all wear masks and we play the game and we put up a front and we say its all real and its all life and its all meaningful and we're such good friends and family and peers and elders and this and that and the next. But the level of selfishness that spews from the lips of babes makes me want to projectile vomit.
If I hear one more person say, "well but I've been through this and I dealt with it," I swear to the all mighty Allah, Buddha, King motherfucking Tut Baby Jesus in a tutu, I will personally make it my mission to ruin your god damned existance. Since when did this become "My trauma can top yours?" Is this a new game show I fucking missed? Because the ratings suck and you should feel utterly ashamed of your lack of emotion and brain matter. Would I stare in the eyes of a Cancer patient and say, "well sucks to be you but um yeah...I got into a car accident and it costs money so dont come crying to me," NO I WOULDNT YOU IDIOTIC SORRY EXCUSE FOR A FUCKING HUMAN BEING! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE! Would I look at the AIDS patient and say, "hey yeah, wow that blows but damn if my hemroids aint acting up," UM YEAH THATS A BIG FUCKING HELL TO THE NO!
But if it makes people feel better to play the "I CAN TOP YOUR PAIN GAME," be my motherfucking guest. But be prepared to be deemed a worthless piece of shit. A waste of air. A fearful example of what the youth will grow up striving to be. Pack your bags now lil children and run for cover because if these are the people you have to look up to, I pity you and the shitty life you will lead.
Ive watched people be idolized, fucking worshipped for being tyrants. Ive watched people cover up and make excuses for the unexcusable behaviour of mentally unstable cuntscabs. In our world, whichever you so feel inclined to apply this letter of hate to, employers can DEMAND that you choose work over family, family can stab you in the back and face and smile behind fakeness so pungent, maggots blow chunks, friends can abolish bonds based on unvalidated grievances and then send spies to keep tabs, like a kitty bish dont know.
Let me put out this warning right fucking now: IF YOU DONT LIKE WHAT I SAY, DEAL WITH IT OR BOUNCE! There is but one voice, one chance, one truth and I refuse to be cattle and say what you want me to say. Im gonna scream to the motherfucking mountains, how I want to, when I want to. I dont very much look good in wool and it makes me itchy, so being a sheep, in ANY life, is NOT an option for me.
Feel free to talk shit amongst yourselves, I'll be sunbathing on my beach. That is all. Oh...almost forgot...

ANYONE who things their priority NEEDS to be my priority...F.T.N!!!!!!!

P.S. If you really want to stress your brain on who this is about, let me let you in something. Theres a 99.9% chance its someone you dont know, will never know so feel free to assume away. Then again, as shitty as people are, Im so fucking sure it can or will apply to someone you do or will know. Hate to break it to you, but they are out there, EVERYWHERE.

Kitty Bish has been silent...
Kitty Bish feels like talking...

Give it a few beers...

Stay tuned bitches *hiss*