Through much observation and some serious analysis, my team of experts and I have stumbled upon something that is either A. a diabolical scheme to annoy the shit out of me or B. a serious epidemic. Either way, I'm highly concerned. This possible epidemic is called "I Have A Complex," otherwise known as "You Swear Syndrome." Symptoms may include but are not limited to:
- People who harbor their RL bias in a world where cats sit next to furries sitting next to home grown vampires who are right in front of badly constructed men wearing mom jeans. Rascism, sexism, homophobia, along with any other ignorant form of stereotyping and judgement, should be left in your RL. SL is a place where you can at least pretend to not be an ignorant asshole. Try it out. You might like it. YOU SWEAR
- DJ's who lose their shit on air. Having a bad day? Don't like what someone said to you? Feel free to privately message them and say just that. More power to you. Rambling on like a sociopath while people are trying to listen to music: you're just an assclown and no one really cares. YOU SWEAR
- Self-Proclomations. If you have to rant and rave about how much of an asshole/cunt/bitch/douchebag/gift from God/naughty slut you are...you aren't. You're boring. You're hoping someone will somehow be impressed/intimidated/interested/intrigued/moved to give a flying fuck and that my dear makes you the worst kind of attention whore. YOU SWEAR
- Speaking of which...people who publicize their hatred for attention whores with clever lists in their profiles only to break their own rules and lead the pack of said hoes. YOU SWEAR
- Anyone who has an outburst and then uses the typical, "I was intoxicated," excuse the following day. Listen, I know it's easier for some to huff and puff and make yourself sound like billy badass normally behind the protection of oh, I don't know...a fucking screen...but save the sad antics of highschool drinking-asshat actions for your family reunion. Take my advice and buy a breathalizer. You not hitting the legal limit? GO WATCH A MOVIE! Please spare the rest of us from your slurred stupidity. This also goes for girls who suddenly become freaky hoes when drinking. If you cant be a good hoe all the time, save the space for the dedicated few. You fucking imposter. YOU SWEAR
- Psycho freaky mushy faced bitches who Jekyll and Hyde something major. Here's a clue. It's free. Take it. If you are rude to someone, they will stop talking to you. Probably not a clever thing to insult THEN ask to chat. Do you see where you went wrong? Hey moron, if you say "fuck off, dont talk to me," but you keep talking...you are officially pushed into the attention whore/dramatic anal leakage category. See numbers 3 and 4. Read slowly, feel free to highlight. YOU SWEAR
- Boys....boys boys boys. Let me give you a fucking hint here. The dramatic push and pull away thing is outdated, overplayed, boring, stupid, and juvenile. Who does that shit anymore? Especially when you have such a kickass bish willing to be by your side. Okay maybe I'm biased but there aint no bitch in my fam who aint some fly ass shit so you should be grateful she's even looked at your mom jean rocking ogre ass. Count your fucking blessings and grovel. Grovel long and hard. YOU SWEAR
- People who take themselves so god damn seriously. There's a crisis in Haiti. There are starving children in the world. Abused animals, victims of physical/emotional/mental abuse, Angelina is adopting all of Guam and half of Ethiopia, attempts to take away our freedoms and you fucks are really convinced your little menstrating sessions are really something of importance. Learn to take a joke. The world doesnt revolve around you. And hey, when you are gone...the world will keep moving. What a fucking shock huh? YOU SWEAR
None of us are perfect here and trust, Im the first to say I'm all sorts of jacked the fuck up. But this epidemic, Im now convinced its a sickness, is taking over and it's effects are deadly if not aggravating as fuck. Bottom line: get over yourself, have fun and if you can't....SHUT THE FUCK UP!
The self absorbed/obsessed/concerned...YOU SWEAR!
FTN BITCHES!
